Title : Sad week....but in the sadness we must celebrate the beauty of life.
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Sad week....but in the sadness we must celebrate the beauty of life.
Last week was a very sad week. Unfortunately I lost a little pal I had been speaking to for a while on skype and through text. I had never met her but she was a lovely girl who I was trying to help get better. She passed away on Monday. Its just so sad to have lost her. She was only 23. I went to her wake and saw her lying there. She looked just like she was asleep and so beautiful. Its awful to see a young person in a coffin. It just makes you realise how precious we are. I believe she was taken to do other things in her next life. The loss struck her whole town. Photos of her and her friends lined the hallway. My heart goes out to her family.
I was sat in the doctors office on Monday and all of a sudden at 12.10 approximately, I was talking to a few people in the room and the tiniest little feather came down from the ceiling. I caught it and said, ''oh there must be an angel present''. (Honestly this has never happened to me before.) Lisa who was with me said, 'Oh only you would notice that'. And then two hours later I am sat in my studio and I get a phonecall from my pal Ciara to say that beautiful Jo had passed. Ah I was heartbroken. The two of us cried down the line to each other. She had been doing chemo and the doctors had removed alot of her stomach so she was unable to eat too much. Her weight had dropped so much.
I woke on Tuesday morning upset about the operation they had put her through and everything she had gone through before she had passed. I really dont know why the medical professionals do this. I mean I am sure they have enough cases to know what is the right thing to do. Why didnt they let her live her life with dignity and to be able to eat. (This is my opinion and if my life ever comes to this I will not let them remove body parts)
Then I remembered about the feather. I have no doubt that was her. I went on Wednesday to her wake and I spoke at length with her father. We hugged and cried together. He said I had given her such hope and that she loved talking to me. It meant the world to me to hear that. She was just an angel. Then he told me when they came back from the hospital his wife was having a cup of tea in the kitchen and a small white feather appeared from the ceiling to her too. Amazing isnt it, how funny things like that happen. I was in shock and pulled out my purse to show him the feather I had caught. I couldnt believe the two stories. The feathers were the exact same he said. I now have a little new angel by my side.
In other news, I am waiting results of a scan from last week. After trying to find my veins they stabbed 5 needles in my arm. I told them I was about to walk out and then they called for a nurse to come up and use my port. Why they didnt is because they arent trained to use the port so maybe its more hassle who knows, but when the student port nurse said she was learning I decline that and ask for the pro to do it. I wasnt going to be another pin cushion. I am usually patient but after the 5th needle burst a vein in my arm and it literally brought tears to my eyes with the pain. My patience had left the building! lol all was well in the end. lets hope this chemo I have been on is working. Its not been an easy ride. There has been many ups and downs with it. More recently I have had swollen red hands that are fiercly dry and cracking and feel like I have pins and needles in constantly. My feet are the worst though. They are red and yellow. I know gross. Its a build up of toxins.
So what I have been doing - I got Bentonite clay and apple cider vinegar and i make a paste and put it all over my hands and feet. Let it dry and then put them into a basin of epsom salt and apple cider vinegar and hot water and scrub them gently to let out the toxins. I then put silcox base on them going to bed with a sock and you know what - IT WORKS!! after maybe 3 goes. I could walk again. I looked like an absolute lunatic not being able to walk properly. It was like my feet had blisters all over them. So painful.
My stomach has been acting up lately too, weird pains in it. So I am going to be juicing alot over the next week. Concentrating on celery juices and vegetables juices and wheatgrass. And drinking nice broth soups when I need some filling and warmth.
Some good news is I am having another exhibition this month up in Drogheda in one of the best bakeries and restaurants I have ever been in. They are phenomenal. The Brown Hound bakery and Eastern Seaboard restaurant. I met the owner Lisa and she gave me such a boost to keep going with my art. She loved my work and said she wants me to make wearable pieces of my work. So I was so flattered. So head down and onwards with the lifewreaths. They are progressing. I just need more hours in the day to be able to complete them all!
Love to y'all,
Fiona X
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