Title : The ever fulfilling fantasy of life....
link : The ever fulfilling fantasy of life....
The ever fulfilling fantasy of life....
I was just looking back at when I first started this blog. Gosh its hard to believe its over three years ago now. Who would have thought. (Im a survivor Im not gonna give up.....I actually cant stand that song! Im just over it now as it brings up too much. Sorry Beyonce but you have not been through cancer! Its used for everything cancer related too.) We all need different perspectives in life to get us through our days and make us feel better about ourselves. We all just want to win at life.
Im here. Im breathing. Im happy and I got stuff to do. That is Winning! And this experience has given me the freedom to do what the hell I want so I better do it! That is a blessing. I have been very tired lately and of course one just has to think - is this it?! Im absolutely wrecked! I just need the sun I think!
I jump into the future and think, I wonder what my child will think reading back these snippets. I hope it doesnt make him sad. I hope it fills him with awe and wonder as life is just so precious and every moment counts. No need to rush anything. Take your time, enjoy the space and time.
Our children give us energy. Yes they can take it away just as quick! haha (get off fortnight for the 20th time echoeing in my inner organs) But if I didnt have my child to live for and to guide me, id would be gone, probably years ago. Hes my biggest teacher. Hes sees all and then we are sitting in the bed and he wants a massage (what I love) or wants to talk about something that was said earlier. We know they dont miss a trick!I have to be very careful as to not make him fearful. Thats a challenge when you can hardly throw one leg in front of the other, but I am practising my acting!!
So three years. Stats say I am in the final 20% of survivors now make it to this threshold. I know I am very frank about speaking about life and death. The certain few who make it over that length need a badge. I think I will make one for myself today. I still miss eating cakes and chocolate so much and there is still not a day that goes by when I dont think about eating one. (My mothers daughter!) This goddamn brick in my belly is going places! Shes hanging on in there, making me feel tired and struggle with things but Im still here writing about my life!. I jiggle tony (the tumour) every morning. He loves an aul laugh and a squeeze!
So roll on the next three years and counting.
I need to get my fantasy gallery shop up and running!
Ciao for now,
Fi x
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