Title : Peace from the bed to move ahead...acceptance of our eccentricities to expand our consciousness...oh yeah.
link : Peace from the bed to move ahead...acceptance of our eccentricities to expand our consciousness...oh yeah.
Peace from the bed to move ahead...acceptance of our eccentricities to expand our consciousness...oh yeah.
I have to write about this, as over the last few days its never been so apparent to be able to talk about this. Life and Death....living this moment.What lense do you see the world through?
I want to get rid of this lense. Why have a lense at all. Isnt it just inviting in judgement and negativity? It also stops growth.
Its been interesting to understand and realise the focus I was living my life previously, its always changing.
For the last three years, I was looking through the lense of someone who could die at any stage. For the first couple 2 years at least. I was scared. I was so scared, I used to cry alot out of the fear of leaving everyone, especially my kiddo. But as time goes on, and I remain very much ALIVE, that fear has sort of left me and I look at death with a very different perspective. I know now that was just my (fairly large) ego getting in the way of just taking each day as it comes, living in the moment. For without this moment what else is there?
I honestly feel now, that I am a different person walking a different path. With all the work I have been doing into my spiritual health and growth, my emotional health and my meditational growth; I feel like I am so relaxed with the thought of death. I am not really sad about it anymore as well its made me grow in ways I never thought I would be. We loose loved ones everyday and it will help us grow and see things from a different perspective. I believe my pal who passed yesterday is gone somewhere very special. Yes, she has left her child and yes, I will leave mine someday and my family, but so could you, tomorrow even.
So it makes me think, as I was walking around Dundrum shopping centre today after having a fab lunch with friends. I wasnt looking to buy, although I have wanted to stick a little gift into a box I have been creating for Johnny. He is a lucky boy to have a very prepared mother, that just in case I dont live as long as I want, I have prepared certain things to help him understand who his mad mother was and to show him snippets of how I viewed life. Now In doing this just recently, I found it so cathartic that I am getting this out of the way and as I am there writing I realise how real and maybe too real I have become. I am living in my fullest truth. And I am glad I am only getting to write these now, as I feel now I have never been so secure in what I really wanted to say to him, whats important in life and what I have learned over, well the last 3 years on knowing that death (in medical terms) is close. Dont worry I am not planning to go anywhere, but hey, as Dad says, theres no tomorrow for any of us. My time will come and unlike most, I am ready.
I feel like my consciousness is wrapped around my body. I am calm. I have a different state of mind. (I know for some this may not be understandable and I am only really beginning to understand it myself and to even explain it is another challenge. But I am going to try and explain it.) What do I mean by that. Is that everything has become so apparent. What actually matters and what doesnt. My filter is right around me and yet I havent got a filter. I feel that everything I do is done with complete awareness and yet without thought. I am just a being being. I am not doing something just for the sake of it. Buying some crap just because I have to gift someone, or making a quick decision because I have to, because I DONT! Or not saying something as it might hurt someone as thats not living in your true form. In fact im trying to stay well away from decision making and maybe people I dont know as they might take me up wrong when I am being too honest!!. haha. Im just living through compassion and I catch myself when I am not! Thats where the learning happens. Thats not to say I dont get annoyed now and then, but my lifestyle, life energy, the flow is different now. My energy is different now. My attention is on my feelings. When something alters my feelings, I am so much more aware of that. We operate at a similar levels that brings up emotions, as when we were children, no one tells us how to grow up and become aware of your emotions and feelings for what that can do to us in the long run.
How do we lower the volume of our emotions? I needed to take alot of time out, stillness and silence. To get to know why I behave in a certain ways. When we are angry, annoyed and frustrated, who are you hurting? You are only hurting yourself. A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom. I want wisdom. Abundant wisdom to heal. We all need it, even though we may deny it. Emotions are just a record of our past. Lets stop going into the past. (My last post was all about that, now im delving a little deeper) In the study of our brains, the hormones of stress are heightened in the brain (with a threat or stress) then you become aware of the obstacles ie: body and objects and obsess about time. Our brain waves change to the outer world, our environment on a minute to minute basis. Unfortunately about 70% of the time people live in this state. Which means our bodies are in constant state of adrenalin, which messes us up our emotional health, our hormones and causes dis ease.
So to recap, we analysis our lives based on our past emotions. However if you go into an altered state through meditation, through chanting, drumming, relaxing, even singing and or silence. If you let go of your ego of who you are, the representation you have given to everyone while living this life, the personality you adorn when mixing with your various peers, colleagues etc. If you just become no one, nowhere, nobody, can you let go of all the past thoughts, the past feelings, your looks, the stress, the strains, the danger? Then what can become of your mind and body? Can we bring ourselves back to a state where anything is possible? Yes, by leaving your ego at the door.
Im trying to disassociate with my former self in a way. (Like becoming a jedi warrior of silence in my little dream of it all) I am getting beyond the anticipation of my future which was operating from my past of getting that diagnosis a few years ago. (Am I absolutely mad? Well I am still here.) I have been trying to overcome this over the last year and a half and live in the belief that I am cured and not give this disease anymore thought. Feck it, whats the point in wasting my time on this notion that I could die tomorrow. Live now and the rest will follow....The last few weeks in bed was pure soul healing time. I wouldnt change it for the world. All the lovely messages were great, but I cannot respond to all when I am trying to not be myself! I had my very own John Lennon and Yoko moment with myself and my 'lifewreaths' (not hair peace in my peace bed.
We are the operators of our own destiny. The world can be a magical energetic place if we just allow ourselves to tap into that. But by God, the awe, the wonder, the love and the joy of becoming a new human being is a great achievement if I can do it, you can do it. I have been working so hard at this. I want this life more than anything else. I dont want to have to write my kid more letters. I am just surrendering my limited self to become a better human. If I die during this process, then my life was not in vain. For my souls job is to create the unknown. My soul is not stuck anymore to my emotional past. My heart is open for an enormous life that began from within and touching my heart and drawing from this amazing organ. Its our only safe place. Our hearts have more energy and less matter than anything else, even our own brain.
We are forever being born again into the same life. How are you going to live for today? Death will come to us all. Does that designer coat or that new pair of shoes really matter in the big scheme of things? No. But that beautiful doterra aromatherapy essiential oils to support emotional healing is a wonderful gift I got from an amazing woman. And all those prayers I cant deny they stood me up today and helped me put on some eyeshadow to get me out the door for lunch. Happy out!!
Ok well, thats all for now folks,
Oh one more thing. I am part of a group exhibition in The Copper House Art Gallery, in Dublin on 13th December - 16th of December. 50 3d prints will be for sale of my chosen lifewreath that I am donating to GIVE to help the homeless in Ireland. The lifewreath will be auctioned off and We plan to raise 55,000 approximately to give some people a good Christmas. So please get in and get your print from around 18 of Irelands most amazing talent. I am so excited to be part of this. What a great christmas gift and your putting your money to a good cause.
love to you all,
Fix
Thus Article Peace from the bed to move ahead...acceptance of our eccentricities to expand our consciousness...oh yeah.
That's an article Peace from the bed to move ahead...acceptance of our eccentricities to expand our consciousness...oh yeah. This time, hopefully can give benefits to all of you. well, see you in posting other articles.
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